Making a List

Did you ever make a Christmas list when you were younger? Highlight the Argos catalogue, or write a letter to Santa telling him how nice you’d been? Whatever your experience of childhood Christmas planning, it’s probably different to the adult version. Number-crunchers Statista estimate that in the UK, we’ll have spent a whopping £8.71 billion across Black Friday and Cyber Monday this year. That’s a lot of Christmas presents planned and sorted already! Of course, it’s not just presents – there’s also food, travel, parties and all other kinds of other Christmas commitments to take into consideration. As an adult, Christmas planning is not what it used to be and especially so if you are a fabulous foster carer. It’s time to make a list and check it twice.

In the fostering family there can always be surprises, but the more prepared you are, the easier they will seem. With advent beginning, we’ve put together a few tips to help you plan your festivities and stay flexible. So, if this is your first Christmas in fostering, or if you fancy some fresh inspiration, read on…

1. Get Talking. Christmas can be very exciting, but equally very overwhelming for foster children. Take time as soon as possible to talk. Some children may have never experienced a Christmas celebration before, others may have dreaded abuse and others still may have the best memories of happy family times. Chat about what they are used to, what might happen in your home, who they might see and what they are comfortable with. This will help you both to feel happier and more prepared.
2. Be Inclusive. Landing in the middle of another family at the most wonderful time of the year can be hard. Try to find a balance of keeping your own traditions, while also incorporating any special things your foster child might be used to. Creating a new tradition all together is also a brilliant way to bond and make everyone feel special and included. There are so many fun Christmas activities – let everyone in the home have a turn at picking something to do together.
3. Expect Emotion. As we said, Christmas can be jolly difficult. Foster children may be especially reminded of their birth family and good or bad memories. They may feel guilt for enjoying themselves, or worry for relatives they miss. To help, make it clear there is no pressure to feel a certain way, always ensure they have a ‘break-out’ quiet space available and regularly check-in on how they are doing.
4. Maintain Contact. If your child has contact, make sure there is a visit around Christmas. Let them make a card or chose a small gift to take and if possible, try to avoid doing any other Christmas activities on that day. This will give your child time to process and hopefully make it feel less like they need to pick a side.
5. Relax. Honestly, you’re doing a great job whether you go ice-skating in matching clothes or sit at home eating Celebrations in your pyjamas. A safe, happy foster child is better than anything else.

We’ll be around all over the festive season, so please contact us if you’d like a chat. In the meantime, we’re off to make that list, check it twice and find our first mince pie of the season.