On your marks…

As the recent sunny weather has reminded us, we’re now firmly in the Summer Term. If you have a school aged child in your care, this will likely mean a selection of end-of-term excitements coming soon including assemblies, fetes and almost inevitably – sports day.

This last treat has become a bit of a hot potato over the years, amid a backlash of competition controversy. Some schools still hold competitive events, while others choose team games or even just a selection of sporty challenges where everyone has a go.

But why the debate about competition for children? What can we do to help an overly competitive or competition-averse child? How can we win at everything? No, wait, lose that last one. Grab your sunhat and your water bottle and join us as we investigate. On your marks, get set, go…

The reality is that at some point in all our lives we will experience competition. Maybe for a job or a place on a team, maybe a place at university, a part in a school play or just in a three-legged race. Even the PE National Curriculum for Primaries aims for all children to take part in some form of competitive games.

There are pros and cons to introducing competition and different children will react differently to the concept. As with so many things in life, it seems the key is finding a balance.

On the plus side, competition in a safe environment can encourage motivation, resilience and independence. It can help children learn how to face fear, appreciate strengths and weaknesses, see the best in others and find positive role models. Plus, it offers the opportunity to practise the life skill of winning and losing gracefully.

Conversely, competition can also promote stress and anxiety, lower self-esteem and create an aggressive winner-loser mentality. None of which are healthy for children or adults. As we said though, the key seems to be balance and keeping a check on how your child responds to different amounts and forms of competition.

Some children will naturally be overly competitive, thanks to either nature or nurture. Foster children in particular can lean this way as a response to neglect, abuse or lack of early bonding. Tantrums at losing, telling tales, boasting and jealously are all signs of a highly competitive mindset. If you know a child in this position, check out our helpful blog on attachment-seeking behaviour. Other top tips for curbing competitiveness include talking about different positives a child might find in their activity, like making friends. Try letting them broaden their horizons with new experiences and praising them for effort, not outcomes.Equally, some children will prefer to avoid competition completely, but this mindset can be just as unhealthy.

Obviously if a child is talking rather than concentrating during a football game, they may just not like football, or running. If they always shy away from putting themselves up against others though, there are three potential reasons. They could be a people-pleaser, find social settings difficult or simply lack confidence. Don’t worry, there are lots of ways to encourage them as well.

The jury may be out on competition, but helping children learn to navigate it safely seems like a good starting point to us. PE kit, or no PE kit. If you want to talk further about this, or anything else foster-related, please contact us – we’ll be the ones arm-wrestling for an ice lolly. Maybe.